Friday, January 23, 2009

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Friday, January 9, 2009

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

neuf neuf neuf neuf neuf

One fresh January evening a frenchman is bragging to his friend about this pig he has.
He says:"My pig is tres amazing. Did you know he can do math?"
His friend says: "Don't be silly. I don't believe you. You are a french liar."
The frenchman replies :"Here, I`ll show it to you."
So he turns to his pig and says: "What's 3 times 3?"
The pig says: "..neuf..."
"See?", the frenchman says, "I told you so."
"This is truly incredible", his friend replies, "show me more".
So the frenchman turns to his pig again: "How much is 5 plus 4?"
Once again the pig says: "...neuf..."
"Aha! Wait a minute!"the friend says,"Can he do any calculation that doesn't end in 9?"
The frenchman squirms a bit, looks around, and finally replies: "..um..yeah, yes of course he can! Sacre bleu! I'm no french liar!"
"Let me try" the friend says accusingly: "Hey pig, how much is 4 plus 4?"
The pig sniffs the ground silently.
The frenchman, not wanting to be exposed for the french liar he is, grabs a stick and shoves it up the pig's rear:
"HUUIIIIITTTT!!!!"

That was a 2009 joke. It has a 9 in it.
But it also has an 8 in it. This is significant.
I feel removed enough from the recently-departed year of our lord 2008 to discuss it openly now.

i don't remember a lot of the things that happened in it, and many of the things i thought of to discuss actually happened in 2007 or the late eighties, so there's that.

i liked some records from 2008. That part i usually remember.

these were some of them:





















but certainly not all of them...

what else happened in 2008? Lots of things. Too many to report probably. I think as long everyone just keeps in mind that 2008 was the year :

- kraft foods introduced "bagel-fuls"
- of european intercultural dialogue
- "10,000 b.c" came out
- the large hadron collider hit the scene
- the seven NEW deadly sins fell from heaven

happy new year though.

i will leave you with my tea-leaf predictions for 2009:



- bobby pins will continue to be made shittier and shittier
- olympic fever will divide vancouver
- golden retrievers will enjoy a comeback
- david sedaris will keep annoying me
- people will keep trying to tell me to give david sedaris a try
- the blues will remain blue

Saturday, January 3, 2009