Wednesday, October 15, 2008

the a-bombs are coming?

i called northwestel today to sort some account deets out and i got Petra.
She's the northwestel lady who helped me reclaim my phone line from the westmark my first winter here. Still just showing that crappy phone company who's the boss of rules.
Way to go Petra. Way to do it for the proletariat.
This phone call, in addition to nostalgia, also brought news of a late-night phone plan discount we apparently have, which will prove useful in calling people at inappropriate hours i am sure.

I am not comfortable with A & W's recently marketed "Uncle Burger".
I would just plain never be able to order that.
Uncle.
Burger.
creepy...

Also in up-to-the-minute marketing news, Risk has a Godstorm version that seeks to take risk back to an older, more mythic time when Gauls and Phoenicians could just hack each other apart with axes to satisfy their pagan gods. perfect for avoiding conversations about race and nationalism in a current context!


i would like to inflict a godstorm someday in this lifetime. we'll see.

maybe now a photostorm instead. that's a storm i can muster.



gotsta tag your school with a math equation.




the keno glows like a ghost, man




night service.




pomp n' formalities.





wintertime.




a lovely cheese pizza just for me.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

look at what the light did now

questions, and some answers:

how come no one brings me a sandwich?

why does everything smell like rye? oh ya. half a forty of rye will do that.

why is one of my fingers always bleeding?

Is it as nice out as it looks? Yes. Yes it is.

Orangina. You are so good. So good i am shocked. You shock me. I'm shocked.

i did not know that orangina was orange, lemon, and mandarin juices combined for maximum power. Thank you, potentially faulty wikipedia entry. I was not looking for ingredient details originally, i wanted to know what year it was invented so i could caption a picture "curing hangover since___". It's older than i would've given it credit for:
Orangina started life as Naranjina, presented at the 1936 Marseille Trade Fair by its Spanish inventor, chemist Dr. Trigo. Léon Beton bought the concept and produced it in colonial Algeria, moving production to France in 1962 after Algeria won independance.
Way to come from colonial Algeria, Orangina. Like a young Camus. I bet he tried Orangina before lots of people. Talk about existential.

It is painfully apparent i am not making sense.
So in conclusion,


Orangina: Curing hangovers since 1936

Friday, October 3, 2008

heaven to betsy (and peggy and natasha and sonja)

i should not be allowed near computers when i am drunk.
or if i am allowed near them, it should be a read-only scenario.
maybe boxing gloves should be requisite.

in unrelated news deciding what everyone's opposite gender name would be made last night a real treat, all without the awesome power of fibre optics.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

the greatest good for the greatest number

it keeps snowing little bits but not enough to be winter, just enough to be inconveniently slippery.
Rocktober, you're the one.
Maybe october is my favourite month? That might be based largely on halloween though-- hard to say. I have yet to decide upon a costuming scheme, though i do have a few "good" "ideas". I am always so tempted to go for the conceptual costume, but i fully realise that will only serve to make me look like even more of an art fag than i already do. Concept costumes also run the risk of being really unclear to the outside viewer and necessitate constant explanation, which can get tiresome, nay impossible, as the night ( and her drinks...oh the night's ghoulish drinks) goes on.

Do you have to soak barley before you cook it? i have no idea, so i opted for yes. I guess i could use the barley water in olde-timey cure fashion. I think it's supposed to be good for jaundice, which i clearly have by now.

{non sequitur break}

I had a fairly elaborate dream about Penguin Park last night (which is impressive because
a) i don't sleep much, which cuts down on the dreams b) i usually have nightmares and c) i was crunk to the maxxxx, which often results in me forgetting my dreams).
Remember Penguin Park? That depends entirely where you're from and how old you are.
It was also called Penguin Village. I don't remember which name came first. Regardless, it was a kick-ass (maybe?) water park in Saskatoon when i was a kid. It had some really vertical slides and one of the kind you go down in a tube. Sweet. I figured i'd be able to regale (and i use the term loosely) the blogosphere with pictures of how kick-ass it was, but i'll be damned if i can find one on t'internet. Bizarre. My quest for Penguin Park pictures did, however, lead me to this confusingly named destination:

Yes, Noah's Ark Waterpark. It's everything you dreamed of a biblical waterpark. According to their website,
"Noahs Ark Water Park in Wisconsin Dells is a destination that you don’t want to miss. With 41 waterslides, 2 wave pools, 2 endless rivers, 5 gift shops, 12 restaurants & outdoor lounges, 18 hole mini-golf, 3 arcades, and 1 incredible adventure, Noah’s Ark is definitely worthy of the title of “America’s Largest Water Park.”"

sign me the fuck up. Watersliding and vague religious references: my two greatest passions aligned.


parting questions:

how did i get to these Pyrenees Mountains?

where is my Bloc Quebecois campaign sign?

why does my broken 'k' key now cause random ks to appear when i press other keys?

what should my thematic approach be for my radio show on friday?

what would you be if you were in the circus?

who's the owner?